• What’s the Difference Between Peanut Butter and Jam?

    by  • Tuesday, April 14th, 2009 01:52 am GMT -4 • Season 4 • 100 Comments

    On tonight’s How I Met Your Mother this innocent question was asked. The punchline? If I tell you will you stop hanging out with me like Lily? Be warned, it’s crude. If you wish to know continue reading.

    I can’t peanut butter my dick in your ass.

    Thank you.

    100 Responses to What’s the Difference Between Peanut Butter and Jam?

    1. Pingback: Review HIMYM: Mosbius Designs - Todo Series

    2. slightly
      Saturday, April 18th, 2009 05:41 pm GMT -4 at 5:41 pm

      oh, don't get me wrong. within the show i thought it was hilarious and totally something the boys would laugh at. but if one of my guy friends told it to me (which, honestly, they are likely to do) i would probably walk out on them like lily. if only because the joke is so lame.

      • jill
        Wednesday, April 24th, 2013 10:41 am GMT -4 at 10:41 am

        the joke is lame .. the peanut butter part doesn’t make sense >.<

    3. Tuesday, April 21st, 2009 03:33 pm GMT -4 at 3:33 pm

      It's true. That's all I need in life.

    4. Missy
      Saturday, April 25th, 2009 04:37 am GMT -4 at 4:37 am

      Not JUST a guy joke thank you very much

      • Thursday, February 21st, 2013 10:10 am GMT -4 at 10:10 am

        Agreed!! :D I’m dying at this joke !!

        • Sunday, March 10th, 2013 11:23 pm GMT -4 at 11:23 pm

          Absolutely. hahahahxpit was
          legend
          waiiiiit for iiiiitttt
          dary:D

    5. Missy
      Saturday, April 25th, 2009 04:41 am GMT -4 at 4:41 am

      Only a grin?? I cracked up so hard I startled my cat!!

      • scofield
        Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 03:31 pm GMT -4 at 3:31 pm

        were u gonna peanut butter ur cat?

      • Thursday, October 25th, 2012 12:34 am GMT -4 at 12:34 am

        That is SO awesome that a woman could love a joke like that.

      • Friday, January 4th, 2013 12:12 am GMT -4 at 12:12 am

        Yah But when girl a tell this joke from their perspective guys think it’s sexy then ask… “you wanna?”

        Not quite the same effect.

    6. Tongue in cheek?
      Monday, May 11th, 2009 04:01 am GMT -4 at 4:01 am

      WTF is mother language (especially enjoyed mother's language)…

      It's mother tongue people…and ain't got nothing to do with you mother's tongue…unless you want to peanut butter that up my ass!!

    7. wow.
      Wednesday, May 20th, 2009 11:40 pm GMT -4 at 11:40 pm

      dude. A guy at school told me everything but the punch line to this joke and told me to look it up online. Creepy.

    8. sasha
      Thursday, June 11th, 2009 01:34 am GMT -4 at 1:34 am

      awesome the best joke in history

    9. sasha
      Thursday, June 11th, 2009 01:36 am GMT -4 at 1:36 am

      lol

    10. sasha
      Thursday, June 11th, 2009 01:36 am GMT -4 at 1:36 am

      im a gay fag hahahahahha

    11. Friday, June 12th, 2009 01:17 am GMT -4 at 1:17 am

      guy is gay with your dog

    12. Friday, June 12th, 2009 01:20 am GMT -4 at 1:20 am

      lol

    13. Friday, June 12th, 2009 01:20 am GMT -4 at 1:20 am

      lol

    14. Friday, June 12th, 2009 01:20 am GMT -4 at 1:20 am

      lol

    15. Friday, June 12th, 2009 01:20 am GMT -4 at 1:20 am

      lol

    16. Friday, June 12th, 2009 01:20 am GMT -4 at 1:20 am

      yes you are missy

    17. Friday, June 12th, 2009 01:21 am GMT -4 at 1:21 am

      that is so sick you lil player i just want to bang bang bang your dog in the

    18. Friday, June 12th, 2009 01:21 am GMT -4 at 1:21 am

      barny is gay in real life THAT GOT YOUR ATTENTION LOLOLOLOLOL

    19. steve
      Friday, June 19th, 2009 10:52 pm GMT -4 at 10:52 pm

      Can somebody explain the joke? English is also not my language. I understand the background tu jam – strack in it but i don't get the joke with the penaut butter. is there another trasnslation / explanation for peanut butter then peanut butter from the shop?

      • Wednesday, February 13th, 2013 05:21 pm GMT -4 at 5:21 pm

        Replace “Penaut Butter” with “Jam”. No problems.

    20. ur mumu
      Tuesday, July 14th, 2009 04:21 am GMT -4 at 4:21 am

      i like men

    21. R. Julien
      Thursday, July 30th, 2009 07:29 pm GMT -4 at 7:29 pm

      Ouwaw so cool.

      But I'm french and I wait the Fr version, because in other languages, it's not a joke, there are no signification.
      But it's so good in Oringinal Version ^^

    22. Roberto, Portugal
      Wednesday, August 12th, 2009 04:26 pm GMT -4 at 4:26 pm

      can anyone tell me the joke please??
      i didn't get it at all…
      and i'm a bro…
      am i gay or something…?
      please help me!!
      By the way, HIMYM is a HUGE success here in Portugal!
      continue the good work guys!

      • Sunday, October 21st, 2012 03:32 pm GMT -4 at 3:32 pm

        well plug in both words to the punch line. you cant peanut butter a dick in sombodys ass but you can jam one into one. as in like shove your …. into somebodys …

    23. Dude
      Monday, August 31st, 2009 11:50 pm GMT -4 at 11:50 pm

      Dudes,
      This joke is a pun, which is a joke based on a word with two meanings.

      The noun Jam is similar to Jelly, we have Strawberry Jam and Grape Jelly which are both good with Peanut Butter (PB) as a sandwich called the PB & J an American staple.

      The verb to jam, is to push something in with force. Japanese subway riders are jammed into the cars by people that push them past the closing doors.

      Knowing this, try the joke understanding both the noun Jam, and the verb to jam.

      What is the difference between PB and Jam? I can’t PB my cock up your ass. Which since PB can’t be a verb must cause you to change to jam in your head. Hilarity ensues.

      More dirty than a good pun.

      Puns are funnier in English, because they are more rare than in other languages. I know that in French puns are considered very low humor because duel meanings are much more common in French.

      I don’t know about your language, you’ll have to tell me.

      Hope this explains it to your satisfaction, although as with all jokes having to explain it kills it.

      • Tuesday, November 13th, 2012 07:36 am GMT -4 at 7:36 am

        Ah! I get it now, lol. Thanks.

    24. R. Sager
      Tuesday, September 1st, 2009 12:16 pm GMT -4 at 12:16 pm

      You're right…I can't hang out with you guys anymore.

      LOL classic response by Alyson. When I first saw this episode I was like "WTF was the punchline?" Then my room mate looked it up last night and told me the punchline and I'm like " Ummmm…I don't get it." Epic fail.

    25. jax
      Tuesday, September 29th, 2009 11:28 am GMT -4 at 11:28 am

      hey i don't get this…
      'you peanut butter down her throat'….i don't get it
      [i get the last part though]

    26. kory p
      Sunday, October 25th, 2009 05:22 pm GMT -4 at 5:22 pm

      Not to bad of a joke, and pretty great show

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    28. Mahmood
      Sunday, May 2nd, 2010 11:41 pm GMT -4 at 11:41 pm

      “dude’s” post explains it well, ull get it even if u speak alien language… Guys read the question (the joke),and then read the answer slowly.
      Q: whats the difference between peanut butter and jam.
      A: I cant ‘peanut butter’ my dick up ur ass, but i can ‘jam’ it up ur ass.
      The joke is supposed to make fun of whos guessing it..
      I dont really find the joke that funny.

    29. smith k
      Wednesday, June 9th, 2010 05:22 pm GMT -4 at 5:22 pm

      cool joke

    30. Sunday, June 13th, 2010 07:56 pm GMT -4 at 7:56 pm

      No sé bien cómo llegué a tu blog y me gustó mucho el contenido que publicas. Ya llevo un rato navegando por aquí. Tu dirección ya está en mi Google Reader. Si tienes ganas, pasa por mi blog. Abrazo!

    31. Sunday, June 13th, 2010 11:33 pm GMT -4 at 11:33 pm

      Encontré tu blog por pura casualidad y todo el contenido me pareció genial. Hace bastante que estoy leyendo tus artículos. Ahora te añado a mi lector RSS. Si tienes ganas, comenta en mi sitio. Nos vemos!

    32. Tuesday, July 27th, 2010 12:44 pm GMT -4 at 12:44 pm

      i am allergic to peanuts so i can only taste a bit of peanut butter even if i love it so much.*.:

    33. ass
      Thursday, September 2nd, 2010 03:21 am GMT -4 at 3:21 am

      Peanut butter is a creamy spread made of ground peanuts, and jam is a spread made of fruit preserves

    34. sticks
      Friday, October 29th, 2010 09:12 am GMT -4 at 9:12 am

      grin
      haha, hohohoo

    35. Christine
      Friday, October 29th, 2010 09:21 am GMT -4 at 9:21 am

      The answer is actually

      You can’t JAM your dick up any 8 year olds butthole but you can pee nut butter on it.

      • Wednesday, November 28th, 2012 05:25 pm GMT -4 at 5:25 pm

        No it’s something WAY, WAY, WAY, more disgusting. I’m not gonna say it because I am WAY, WAY, WAY, too young to be watching HIMYM

      • Sunday, January 13th, 2013 09:37 pm GMT -4 at 9:37 pm

        peanut butter and jam are meant for eatting. not shoving up your rectum. you obviously have skeletons in your closet. projecting your fantasy’s a little maybe?
        and where the fuck do you derive the arbitrary number from? your fucking demented for including specific age limit, especially a child you sick fuck

    36. raja
      Friday, October 29th, 2010 06:50 pm GMT -4 at 6:50 pm

      hey still not getting the joke.. plz elaborate it.. or or can nebody explain in hindi??

    37. Guys Come On
      Thursday, November 11th, 2010 11:27 pm GMT -4 at 11:27 pm

      Guys!!! Come on!!!

      Seriously? That’s the dirtiest joke you’ve ever heard?

      Okay, try this out.

      Two vampires went to a café

      One of them ordered a glass of fresh blood

      And the other one only ordered a glass of hot water

      “Seriously? A glass of hot water?” Asked the first vampire in shock

      The second vampire took out a used tampon

      “I prefer to have a Tea-bag.”

    38. teddy westside
      Saturday, December 18th, 2010 09:57 pm GMT -4 at 9:57 pm

      the point was that the joke was not suppose to have an answer… it was just meant to be left to the imagination, the punch line is whatever is the dirtiest answer you can imagine…

      to give it an answer… is the ruin the joke….
      (an just cause that’s the punchline you came up with on a google search doesn’t mean it is the real one…)

    39. mitch
      Sunday, October 2nd, 2011 02:54 pm GMT -4 at 2:54 pm

      While this joke is pretty hilarious, not the even close to the dirtiest joke I’ve ever heard like future Ted claims.

    40. WTF
      Sunday, October 9th, 2011 07:51 pm GMT -4 at 7:51 pm

      WTF dude

    41. ty
      Friday, December 2nd, 2011 12:13 am GMT -4 at 12:13 am

      I kind of assume this isn’t the real punchline, at least, not the one from how I met your mother. The punchline is funny, but, knowing the writers humor, like with “eating a sandwich,” I would guess that barney does actually say it, so technically you could read his lips. And the punchline above doesn’t fit with his lips.

      • Thursday, January 31st, 2013 08:10 pm GMT -4 at 8:10 pm

        Watching this episode on Netflix now and, no, that’s not what he said. I’m not a good lip-reader but the last word he said was “you”. So I’m really interested to find out exactly what his answer was. The answer given here fits the joke better but it’s not the answer coming from Barney’s lips.

    42. Kitkat
      Thursday, December 15th, 2011 07:25 pm GMT -4 at 7:25 pm

      The answer is you can pee nut butter down her throat
      But you cant jam it up her ass!

      • Wednesday, November 28th, 2012 05:26 pm GMT -4 at 5:26 pm

        No it’s something WAY, WAY, WAY, more disgusting. I’m not gonna say it because I am WAY, WAY, WAY, too young to be watching HIMYM!!!!!

    43. Raven
      Thursday, January 26th, 2012 01:22 am GMT -4 at 1:22 am

      Legen…(wait for it)…dairy

      • Thursday, January 31st, 2013 08:05 pm GMT -4 at 8:05 pm

        legencheese? legenmilk? I don’t get it.

        Legen …wait for it … dary*

    44. pastry16
      Friday, January 27th, 2012 07:50 pm GMT -4 at 7:50 pm

      The real reason Lily left was because Alyson Hannigan was pregnant in real life, and they couldn’t show her baby bump because she wasn’t pregnant in the show. Just in case you were wondering.

    45. Leroy
      Friday, January 27th, 2012 09:01 pm GMT -4 at 9:01 pm

      Not sure that’s the answer or not, but it’s a stupid joke and isn’t funny if it is.

    46. Danny
      Thursday, February 2nd, 2012 10:15 pm GMT -4 at 10:15 pm

      What is pussy spelled backwards? yssup(slurp sound). Hard to tell that one not in person.

    47. Troloolololol
      Tuesday, February 21st, 2012 12:37 am GMT -4 at 12:37 am

      LOLLLLLLLL

    48. Wednesday, March 14th, 2012 09:31 am GMT -4 at 9:31 am

      Fantastic beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your web site, how could i subscribe for a blog website? The account aided me a acceptable deal. I had been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered bright clear idea

    49. kaizenn
      Monday, April 2nd, 2012 03:03 pm GMT -4 at 3:03 pm

      While this is funny, it really isn’t that clever. And it’s barely a pun. Comparing two things that aren’t similar just because they are often heard together is pretty insulting in the humor world. A much better spin on this joke would have been “what’s the difference between jelly and jam?”. That would at least, being a real question, make sense.

    50. Killer
      Friday, May 11th, 2012 01:22 pm GMT -4 at 1:22 pm

      this wasn’t even funny.. watching the show, i as like “this is gotta be f*king hilarious” but no.. it makes NO sense >.<

    51. raylan
      Tuesday, May 22nd, 2012 08:47 pm GMT -4 at 8:47 pm

      I don’t get it. What does it mean?

    52. raylan
      Tuesday, May 22nd, 2012 08:55 pm GMT -4 at 8:55 pm

      Ohhhh it means as dude said about the jam as in shuve it in, u can’t shuve a sandwich in an ass.

    53. Murder
      Saturday, May 26th, 2012 09:01 am GMT -4 at 9:01 am

      I’m female and I laughed as hard as Marshall. This is hilarious and I plan on sharing it.

    54. psyraxxx
      Thursday, May 31st, 2012 04:47 pm GMT -4 at 4:47 pm

      a girl would love to swallow a guys peanut butter but she hates to lick her own jam…..BAM!!!!

      • Wednesday, November 28th, 2012 05:28 pm GMT -4 at 5:28 pm

        NOPE!!! No it’s something WAY, WAY, WAY, more disgusting. I’m not gonna say it because I am WAY, WAY, WAY, too young to be watching HIMYM

      • Wednesday, November 28th, 2012 05:29 pm GMT -4 at 5:29 pm

        NOPE!!!!! No it’s something WAY, WAY, WAY, more disgusting. I’m not gonna say it because I am WAY, WAY, WAY, too young to be watching HIMYM!!!!!

      • Wednesday, November 28th, 2012 05:29 pm GMT -4 at 5:29 pm

        NOPE!!!!! No it’s something WAY, WAY, WAY, more disgusting. I’m not gonna say it because I am WAY, WAY, WAY, too young to be watching HIMYM!!!!! So, yeah…

      • Wednesday, November 28th, 2012 05:30 pm GMT -4 at 5:30 pm

        NOPE!!!!! Good guess though, it’s something WAY, WAY, WAY, more disgusting. I’m not gonna say it because I am WAY, WAY, WAY, too young to be watching HIMYM!!!!! So, yeah…

      • Wednesday, November 28th, 2012 05:31 pm GMT -4 at 5:31 pm

        NOPE!!!!! Good guess though, it’s something WAY, WAY, WAY, WAY more disgusting. I’m not gonna say it because I am WAY, WAY, WAY, WAY too young to be watching HIMYM!!!!! So, yeah… You get it, right???

    55. Friday, November 2nd, 2012 04:59 pm GMT -4 at 4:59 pm

      I go to google and type, “Whats the difference…” This joke is still the first response in the predictive search. That lets you know what everybody searching for. Lol

    56. Lakesha Gnagey
      Wednesday, November 14th, 2012 09:45 pm GMT -4 at 9:45 pm

      The peanut butter that i always buy have some additional nuts in it and they taste great. `

      Look out for our internet page as well
      http://www.homeimprovementstuffs.com/the-parts-of-an-electrical-shower/

    57. Wednesday, November 21st, 2012 06:43 am GMT -4 at 6:43 am

      This joke totally made my day! :D

      (And this is not just a guy joke, by the way, because I laughed my *** off:)

    58. Thursday, November 22nd, 2012 02:05 pm GMT -4 at 2:05 pm

      hahha the joke is awesome!

    59. Wednesday, December 12th, 2012 08:22 am GMT -4 at 8:22 am

      im horny

    60. Saturday, December 22nd, 2012 06:28 am GMT -4 at 6:28 am

      how is that only a guy joke that is fantastic

    61. Saturday, December 29th, 2012 03:30 am GMT -4 at 3:30 am

      that joke is funny as shit dude it’s fucking legen wait for it ………………………………………….DAIRY but i have a better one A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man.
      So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise.
      He secured it tightly, super glued it shut, and removed the handle.
      Then he picked up a hacksaw.
      The man, terrified, screamed, “Stop! Stop! You’re not going to..to..Cut it off, are you?”
      The husband said, with a horrible gleam of revenge in his eye, “Nope. You are. I’m going to set the garage on fire!”

      • Tuesday, January 1st, 2013 05:26 am GMT -4 at 5:26 am

        Lol

      • Thursday, January 31st, 2013 08:13 pm GMT -4 at 8:13 pm

        Why does everyone keep saying “dairy”? That’s NOT how you spell “Legendary”.

        Legen … wait for it … dary*

        Jebus, people ! Get it right !

    62. Monday, December 31st, 2012 05:07 pm GMT -4 at 5:07 pm

      So funny hahahahahaha

    63. Tuesday, January 1st, 2013 05:23 am GMT -4 at 5:23 am

      I dont get it

    64. Wednesday, January 2nd, 2013 11:11 pm GMT -4 at 11:11 pm

      I’m a girl and I laughed?

    65. Thursday, January 3rd, 2013 05:44 pm GMT -4 at 5:44 pm

      I don’t get it…

    66. Tuesday, January 8th, 2013 12:47 pm GMT -4 at 12:47 pm

      the joke is actually “I can’t pee nut butter with you.”
      they can however jam together.

    67. Sunday, January 13th, 2013 09:18 pm GMT -4 at 9:18 pm

      “you can’t peanut butter a cock down your girlfriends throat”
      not “I can’t peanut butter my dick in your ass”

      • Thursday, January 31st, 2013 08:15 pm GMT -4 at 8:15 pm

        Either one of those works but I have to agree with mallory up above. That looks closer to the real punchline in the show.

    68. Sunday, January 13th, 2013 09:21 pm GMT -4 at 9:21 pm

      whats the difference between a woman,and a deep freeze?.
      your deep freeze don’t fart when you pull your meat out

    69. Sunday, January 13th, 2013 09:24 pm GMT -4 at 9:24 pm

      and just so were clear. peanut butter and jam are made for eatting. not shoving up your rectum, whoever made the original post is fucking retard and should keep his fingers out he’s ass

      • Thursday, January 31st, 2013 08:17 pm GMT -4 at 8:17 pm

        Just so we’re clear, who shoves meat up a woman’s rectum?

        It’s a joke. Get over yourself.

    70. Saturday, January 26th, 2013 02:34 am GMT -4 at 2:34 am

      I have looked at Barney’s lips as he says the punchline and after “peanut butter” his lips don’t move enough to say “my dick up your ass.”

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    72. Thursday, February 7th, 2013 12:57 am GMT -4 at 12:57 am

      I LOVE THIS DAMN JOKE!!!!! So true not just for guys.

    73. Tuesday, February 12th, 2013 12:26 am GMT -4 at 12:26 am

      Me and my sister both laughed at this joke and we plan on sharin with everyone we know and fyi were both girls.

    74. Saturday, February 23rd, 2013 12:07 am GMT -4 at 12:07 am

      LOL. Nice one!

    75. Monday, March 4th, 2013 01:21 pm GMT -4 at 1:21 pm

      Hah! :D

    76. neo
      Monday, March 4th, 2013 07:27 pm GMT -4 at 7:27 pm

      You cant peanut butter your dick up someone’s ass ,but you can jam it !!!!!!!

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