The How I Met Your Mother Blog

And here I was so excited that we’d have an hour-long episode…nope.

And after last week, we are back to mediocre HIMYM.  Sorry to report that.  A few decent moments, but overall, I was disappointed.

What was Good

• Monkeying with the opening credits, with Barney as the leader of the gang.  This has been his ultimate goal, but then again, doesn’t he already think of himself that way?  He’s the Barn-ih-cle, for crying out loud.
• Nice to have Stripper Lilly back, and I’m glad the show did not mince any words about NYC Russians and their stripper girlfriends; yes, they have brought the old world with them, and yes, they will try to rob you.  You can’t turn a hooker into a housewife, people.  But I digress.
• The final denouement.  Indeed, as time goes on, where we may be will change, but our love for one another will not.  Loved the booth metaphor.  I’m sure I’m not alone in this.
• The “Early Relationship Chicken.”  A nice true moment.  I would argue the key in life is to say yes to more things for the sake of saying yes alone.  Wouldn’t you?

What was Bad

• Chris Elliot.  The man has made a career out of playing that awkward douchebag you can’t stand (There’s Something About Mary, Groundhog Day, Everybody Loves Raymond, ect.).  My problem with him as an actor is that, well, that’s exactly what I think of him.  And now the writers have taken the dude into lame sitcom territory as “the THING THAT WOULDN’T LEAVE!!!!” (it was done much better as a short sketch with John Belushi on SNL years back). To think, just last week, they actually had a realistic and touching storyline regarding how Lilly simply can’t forgive her father for abandoning her and being an all around moron of a human being, and now this.  LAME…and not the kind of LAME I like.
• Okay seriously, one more time, the wacky roommate that just won’t leave???  HACK WRITING.  I think I just torpedoed any chance of the producers inviting me to the set (guys, I live right around the block from the Fox lot, pretty please?).
• I think it’s pretty clear at this point that Ted just isn’t the star of his own show anymore.  I’m gonna stop complaining about this now, as I have bitched about it enough.  Sad.  Sad sad sad.
• No wait, seriously, one last thing; if you were to show this season with episode 4 on to someone who had never seen it, there is no way in hell they would assume the show is about Ted.

Favorite Moments

• “But I don’t understand, you can get spray-tans here!”
• “Barney…is the NEW…leader of the gang and life just got more awesome!!!!”
• “Do not touch the fudge in my nightstand…we need ant traps for the night stand.”
• “I hate to agree with Barney’s near-paralyzing abandonment issues, but he has a point.”
• “Let’s go to a strip club!” – every night since 2005.
• “Lot of great memories here…mostly discovering my body.”
• “Barney, I don’t need a lap dance, I need to talk to my….friends.”
• “I’m realistic” – yeah too bad your show isn’t anymore, Ted.  BA-ZING!!!
• “We go to underground poker game in mostly abandoned insane asylum.”
• Ted winning at poker (though lets face it, that ain’t happening in real life) actually made me laugh pretty hard.  The only time I did this episode.
• “And the guilt just makes it dirtier and better.”

Random Thoughts/Questions

• Wait, when did Kevin and Robin start sleeping together?  And how long are they going to keep going with this idea that, oh, btw, ROBIN CHEATED ON HIM???
• Correct me if I’m wrong, but Robin does NOT like strip clubs, and made it quite clear to Barney as much when they were dating.
• Glad to know that Aldrin games actually had one hit.  I’m not THAT cruel.
• Anyone who speaks Russian and watches this episode, well, gee, that poker game double-back joke just won’t work, now will it?  Okay now I’m nitpicking.

Closing Thoughts

Not a fan of this episode, and so far, I’m not sure I’m gonna be a fan of this season.  A few gems so far, but a lot of duds.  I still love this show and I will stick with it to the bitter end.  Indeed, I love it enough to be honest about it.  I am honest enough to admit that the Star Wars prequels suck, I’m 34 years old and I can’t eat cheesesteaks anymore, and WHAM is not getting back together.  I can do it with HIMYM too.

Welcome back everyone, and happy 2012!  It’s going to be nothing but awesomeness, alright, because we are going to prove those silly Mayans wrong, won’t we?  Let us have faith in hope and optimism, not silly folks who used to rip out hearts to make sure the sun came up every day (right, Mel Gibson?).

Let’s dive in!

What Was Good

• Jason carried this one to the brink, baby.  He knows exactly how to play this kind of sadness with humor.  Witness his performance last year during his father’s funeral.
• I’m glad we finally get to see where Jason got his love of Nessie and all things supernatural and weird; Papa.  The Apple doesn’t fall far from the eccentric lovable goof!
• Puzzles was a nice nod to Cheers.  Where having a place to go where everybody knows your name isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.
• The return of the crazy bartender, sans toupee, Doug!!!
• I initially didn’t like the fact that the three brothers would fight over having alone time with Dad, then I shook the cobwebs and realized that a) they were building to something great and b) this is true to their characters.  They still haven’t gotten over their father’s passing. What a touching way to show it.  Indeed, one thing siblings must learn to do in order to get over their rivalry is to share their parents equally (common love of a sports team can do the trick, albeit temporarily).  Just pray it happens before Mom and Dad are gone.
• Indeed, once brothers bickering, always.  Ask my bro and me (what up Scott?)
• Loved the turn-around with Lily and Marshall mutually accepting their beliefs and non-beliefs.  Did not see it coming that her father would come back to her, and it made sense.  The guy can’t help who he is (damn board games) but is sincerely trying to be a better father to Lilly.  And Marshall continues to show her that he is the man for her.  What a guy.  Love ‘em.

What Was Bad

• The cloud of Kevin was finally realized by having actual Kevin there, and all I could think was, “Dude, the guy in the suit banged your girlfriend.  Nevermind that you haven’t even hit it yet, but still!  Barney, you bone his girlfriend AND make him carry kegs up four flights of stairs AND shoot down his Puzzles idea?  You suck.  Kevin saying, “That’s my girl”??? Nope, buddy, she ain’t.  Kevin is a good guy and I hate seeing him treated like a chump.
• Sandy Rivers, once funny, now to me is nothing but a cartoon character that you would never bump into in public.  Drinking on camera? He’s FIRED in real life, period.  Ticker below him be damned, funny as it was.
• “Enigmas of the Mystical” – eh.  Like the idea, but the title of that book was so decided in the writers room by committee when they couldn’t come up with anything better.
• Very obvious from the get-go that Robin was going to end up on air.  No suspense, really.

Favorite Moments

• The reveal of what Marshall is really doing there at the grave site.  Go Viks!
• “Even scarier without the toupee” Indeed, fellas, if you are losing your hair, just shave it and get used to it.  The line of ladies to your bedroom will remind you later that you did the right thing.
• “Why are the hats all wet???” So much funnier by not revealing the reason.
• “Tina quit…” while holding a bag of frozen peas on his cheek.  That’s how Sandy rides!
• “I’m gonna read it to baby Eriksen at night-night!”
• “I wouldn’t use the M word…only they can call themselves that.”
• “Faith is what gives life shape and meaning” the very theme of the show in general.  Many people, Marshall especially, need to believe in something bigger, something mystical.  What HIMYM teaches us is that all you need to do is believe in yourself, and find someone who does as well.
• “A bar…where we get chicks drunk…and bang them!”
• I love douchey-intellectual Ted.  Never gets old for me.  Him referring to Manhattan as Gotham nailed it.
• “Has the book changed…or have I?”  No seriously that’s a good quote!  Maybe I’m a little Ted myself  Feel the same way about Dracula.
• The Puzzles song.  True to character and funny as hell.
• The montage of raising the drink prices had me on the floor.  A very funny way to show that unless you know how economics works, you will fail trying to start a business.
• “There is a pretty good chance I don’t exist…HOW DARE YOU?” LOVE IT

Random Thoughts/Questions

• Was this the first time (during the “Robin I’m no therapist” speech from Kevin) that we’ve gotten a reverse angle of the living room?  Sweet!
• I guess the writers didn’t have an alternate version planned.  I suppose they figure that the majority of fans won’t get the fact that the Vikings got spanked by the Bears for real.  Sorry, Vikings fans (Go Eagles).  That touchdown the bros celebrated over? Twas the only one in the game, in the first quarter.  Sorry boys.
• Without hitting Wikipedia (no cheating) anyone know the significance of the name on the apron?
• I wonder if that’s Allison Hannigan’s real baby belly?
• Kevin is either a) gay or b) banging someone else on the side.  Just my humble opinion.  Ladies, forgive m…no don’t.  I speak for all guys with an active libido.
• Lilly and Robin both have so-called, “Daddy-Issues”.  Yet both turned out differently in life.  Thoughts?
• Why does New Years Day have to be our fresh start? Why can’t we decide whenever the heck we want when are fresh starts are?
• Did I miss something, now that they are in the burbs, what happened to LAME’s apartment in Dowistrepia?
• And I seem to remember WAY back in Season 1, the tallest brother had a wife too.  Now he’s living at home unemployed with Mom?

Closing Thoughts

“Hey Marvin, can you pass me a burger?”

Raise your hand if you have lost a parent just a little too soon.  Yup, me too.  Part of growing up is losing your parents, and a big part of moving past that is seeing your deceased loved one within yourself.  Marshall is one step closer to becoming a proper Dad himself and this was a very moving way to show it.  Remind me to bring a glass of Chardonnay to Old St. Paul’s in Baltimore.  Ma, I know you’re getting blitzed in heaven and loving every minute of it.

Indeed, private moments are overrated (with all except the woman/man you love, of course!).  We are never meant to spend our lives alone.  We need friends, family, loved ones, dogs and cats to get us through the roller coaster.  Be grateful for every moment you have with someone, you never know when it will be your last.  The more, the merrier, amen.

See y’all next week!

And don’t forget to check out the “Sensitive Nice Guy” Show this Thursday night on iTunes and Stitcher!

And…if you have read this far…check out the Puzzles Bar Website!!! GOD I LOVE THE FOURTH WALL BREAKING OF THIS SHOW!

AND….be sure to “like”our official Facebook page!!!

And we’re back…no wait, not until January.  According to Carter Bays on Twitter, “Get ready East Coast! New #HIMYM starts in 652 hours 29 minutes!”

Okay so that means…first Monday in January?  Did I get that right?  Oh well.  We are officially half-way through season 7.  What a season, full of highs and lows.  And moving the story along.  B&T were not kidding.  The S is hitting the fan.  Victoria may have been right about the three of them.

Let’s dive in!

What was Good

• Robin’s story was quite moving.  This girl has been through a lot.  There is a reason that she never wants kids and can’t quite commit; her Dad.  Daddy issues are often made fun of in society today (and especially on this show, remember Girls vs. Suits) but, eh, maybe we should have a little compassion.  And, might I add, Cobie knocked this one out of the park.  Emmy voters, pay attention please.
• Ted, we have old Ted back.  A Ted who is not only a romantic in the love sense, but in the life and friendship sense.  He knows Robin, he gets Robin.  Everyone should have a friend like Ted.
• Mr E.  Wonderful.  I can relate.  As we get older, when we stop fighting the aging process (we’re over 30, just accept it and move on!) we start enjoying the new role that we are in.  And at the same time, one of the joys is being there for the young lads the way that adult role models were there for us at that age.  Seeing the joy in Marshall’s face was quite touching.  While it lasted.
• Loved the way it opened with Robin narrating, and then the twist in the end.  I was 50/50 on whether that would be the case.  It worked poetically in that this is one part of her heart talking, but is ultimately taken over by the other half as well as her brain.  In life, we cannot have everything.  People who think otherwise often end up getting divorced.
• Insane Duane.  Struck down by forgetting to pull out (sorry ladies).  I love how they cast the girl; classy, but sexy.  Pearls, but ready to get down.  Perfect.
• I am loving the red-headed foreign OB/GYN.
• And Future Ted coming back as the narrator in the end, sweet touch.  Really sweet touch.

What was Bad

• Barney.  I know he’s Barney.  And I know he would have this coming.  But again, Robin really burned him.  And he’s all ready to have a kid with her?  I needed more than what we got.  In, “Tick, Tick, Tick,” Barney went into the poker game of life, and went all in, and lost it all.  It is not enough for me to take what we know about Barney and have it implied that he’s gone back into his former self.  I don’t buy it.  His happiness to have a child should be connected to his feelings for Robin.  Here, his paternal longing (short-lived as it was) really isn’t connected to anything.
• The kid, Scott.  He’s a sociopath.  I’m sorry, but you lock a complete stranger who was kind to you up on a roof ALL NIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER?  Maybe I’m getting old; it was only recently that I started to be annoyed by all human beings under the age of 18.  Make that 23 actually (I live near UCLA).  I know Marshall is who he is, but I’m not buying that he’ll spend all night on the roof, possibly freezing to death, and being okay with the kid in the morning (until Scott violated the sock, that is).  I hated that he would take the innocent brotherly horseplay joy of his childhood (yeah, I know, they burned the basement) and connected it to this little Kardashian-in Training bastard.  I wanted to see Lilly figure it out and give the little punk his comeuppance.
• A complaint about the last episode, leaving us on a cliffhanger like that.  First of all, way to mess with us, B&T.  Why not instead have her say, “Barney, I’m late,” CUT.  Then we spend two weeks wondering if she’s pregnant or not?  Just my humble opinion here.  But talk about the mother of all fake outs.  And not in a good way.

Favorite Moments

• The Lebron joke.  125 over 6.  No ring yet.  Love it.
• “Are you sure you’re not just getting fat?” BAM.
• “Looks like nobody told your boobs” BAM.   Barney, dude, learn to shut up.
• We B Babies.  All teens thinking about having sex should be forced to hang out there for a day and watch all the depressed people who forgot to use birth control.
• The happy dance Barney and Robin did when they found out that they are not pregnant.
• Anytime Ted brings back the Mosby Boys in some way, I get giddy.  I can relate.
• “I’ve spent years training my boys to swim the other way.”
• I love that “I can’t have a baby” when Robin said it at the bar means one thing now, but later…great foreshadowing.
• I will continue to love B&T for their disdain of Vegans and Hippies (Clint, looking at you)
• “Kids…STOP”.  Ah, the joys of being a parent.  For now, I only have to put up with my cat yelling at me for my tuna and chicken (I’m on a diet).
• Vaginal Numbing Spray.  How did our fore-mothers get by without it?  Hee hee.
• “Looks like someone’s earned the right to put the Viking’s Helmet on Baby Jesus.”  I feel your pain, Marshall, I’m an Eagles fan.  We suck almost as much as you guys do.
• Robin on the couch, scotch and cigar, “Sucks to be YOU, braces!” Heh.  Good stuff.
• “You have to punch me in the face!” God I love Lilly.
• Marshall giving Robin Olympic advice through the phone with Lilly.  Again, yet another wonderful true character moment.

Random Thoughts and Questions (new section)

• Someone walk me though why Barney would be giddy to be a father.  This is the guy who invented, “Not a Father’s Day.”  If it is because they connected it to his love for Robin, that was not explained enough for my tastes.  And I don’t buy it if you’re gonna tell me that it was connected to last week’s episode.  This is ROBIN we are talking about.
• I’m very curious to know why Robin can’t have kids.  No real good reason, just curious.
• I was curious about the sandwich until I realized THE KID IS GETTING HIGH.  I now see that I was confused at first because this is the first time the narrator didn’t “point it out.”  Well played, writers, well played.
• Is there anything more sad than sitting on a park bench in the middle of winter, drinking egg nog, alone (see below).  This girl has hit rock bottom, at least, I hope she has, I don’t want anything to get worse for her.
• Really Ted?  To cheer Robin up, you play, “Highway to Hell”?  I know it was connected to what Barney said in the bar, but, still.  Why not something a little more upbeat, like highway to heaven?  A little Bing Crosby?
• I keep hearing the same high-pitched, “HEE HEE HEE” in the canned laughter.  It’s really starting to annoy me.
• Poor Kevin.  Oh, poor Kevin.
• Yes, rocks glasses should be used for those of us who don’t drink or aren’t drinking that night.  I wish more bars would do this.
• You know what sucks about all that comfort food on set?  It’s all fake.  Torture for the actors, who are dieting anyway.
• Notice how Duane has four kids?  What do you make of that?  Duane indeed misses his bro days, but he did have four kids with this lady.  Who seems simply lovely.
• Rebecca, if you’ve read this far…AMEN AND GOOD FOR YOU!  Everyone, go back and read what Rebecca said in the previous post about women who can’t have children.  Good show, girl.

Closing Thoughts

In spite of my complaints, I still liked this episode very much, and I will always love these characters.  A very character-driven episode, even if I still found that Barney’s journey with Robin is not being explained enough for my tastes.  I hope they take it further later on.

Tonight’s episode was truly a game changer for Robin.  Indeed, it is one thing to not want something, but something else entirely to learn you can never have it.  The human mind is certainly complicated, but Robin’s is a Inception-like labyrinth of mixed emotions, abandonment fear and uncertainty.  I am still mad at her for what she has done to Kevin and to Barney, but I still care for her and want her to be happy.  I am glad to know that in the future, everything will be okay for her, and I am sad to see her in so much pain in the present.

So, we’re at half-time.  Let’s recap:

LAME:

They are pregnant and enjoying that ride, and find out they are having a boy.  They win the “Our elders love us” lottery and get a house in the ‘burbs.  Yup, we’re in Act Three, the Gang is starting to split up.

BARNEY:

Dude has been through hell.  He tried things with Nora but screwed her over when he realized that he still had feelings for Robin, who promptly broke his heart and gave him a pregnancy scare for his troubles.  But the tides are still turning for the Barnicle.  Looking forward to that wedding.

ROBIN:

This season indeed has been about her.  She is finally beginning to confront her “Daddy Issues” and feelings of abandonment.  She still longs for Barney but has no idea what to do about it.  Finally admitted she is so messed up.  But we are rooting for her, nonetheless.  Everything is going to be okay.

TED:

The show’s supposed main character, he hasn’t had much to do this season, besides get final closure with Victoria and the Slutty Pumpkin.  I hope the second half gives him more to do.

I’ll be posting here every week even though there are no new episodes.  Of course, I’ll also be doing my podcast, the “Sensitive Nice Guy” show.  Tune in and enjoy!  Cheers!

Hey Barney.  Guess you can’t celebrate, “Not a Father’s Day” anymore, can ya?

Let’s dive in:

What was Good

• Ted and Barney bro-adopting: first of all, how hard did NPH lobby for this storyline?  The subtext was hysterical.  As we know, NPH and Scooter are, in real life, proud parents of two adopted children.  And good for them.  I happen to be a “no on 8, no on hate” kind of straight guy, and I love what NPH stands for.  He’s a positive example to follow.  I’ve always loved Barney, and always hated it when douche-bags pointed out, “dude, you know he’s played by a gay guy, right???”.  I just would shrug my head and move on.  So when I say that NPH must have pushed for this storyline, good.  I’m glad.  GLAAD!
• And if you think about it, even though the episode eventually turned against this idea, for reasons I completely agree with (see below), it makes logical sense, doesn’t it?  All the divorces in the world, why not raise a child with a bro?  Or a friend?  JD?  Looking at you, buddy!
• Ted and Barney’s resolution: It reflected the fact that B&T wrote this episode.  It brought the show together thematically.  Sometimes in life, we can want something so badly, we might rush into it.  With the wrong person.  Indeed, the best things in life are worth waiting for.  To do with the right person.  We know that already due to the fact that Ted is telling his children how he met the love of his life.  Not the bro/parent.  The Mother.  The one is always worth waiting for.
• The reveal of James in the end, properly.  As many of you know, I did not like the way he was used several episodes ago, with no real point.  I like Wayne as an actor, and I like him even more as James.  He is a character best used for dramatic impact.  And I loved not only how they used him here, but we also got to meet his husband!
• Again, James.  He is the gay version of Barney.  At least, he used to be.  Now, he represents what Barney can ultimately become.  James was just like Barney back in the day.  Until he met the one.  And now, he’s happy, and monogamous, and a family man.  We know, especially with the ending, that Barney’s journey to this is going to be very difficult.  He sure got a jolt in the end tonight.  It’s a lot harder for him than it was for James.  A lot harder.  But I have it in my heart that Barney is going to be okay in the end.  The journey will be difficult but the prize will be worth the wait.  Again, I love how James is there to remind Barney of what he could truly be, and what we know Barney wants to be.
• Marshall and Lily’s Storyline, Burbs vs. The City:  I, Jordan, The SNG, live out here in Los Angeles, where the show is shot.  My man JD, creator of this blog, lives in NYC, where the show takes place.  He and I have discussed the differences many times.  Certainly, with all due respect to my NYC brothers and sisters, man, I like wide open spaces.  And this episode was a good exploration of that.  And an even better use of the future narrator being able to exaggerate and show it in a visual way.  You could never do this in a usual conventional story-telling kind of show.
• We are gradually heading back to Ted.  Some of you have complained that he is not a very interesting character.  That was not always the case.  It’s just that the other characters have been doing most of the heavy lifting, being written better, and thus have come to the forefront.  But this reminds me of the fact that Ted has evolved as a character.  Ted in seasons 1-3 is not the Ted we have now.  He’s different.  He’s grown up.  Cynical.  I like this guy now.  I mean, I have always liked Ted since day one, I can relate to him, but I’m very satisfied with how he has grown up to this point.

What Was Bad

• I liked the episode very much overall, but one moment really rang false; Barney got f–ked over by Robin.  I’m talking prison style.  And yet, he’s just willing to jump into the bathroom and say hello?  NOPE.  ”Can we still be friends?”  Nope nope. NOPE.  No human being can be around someone who completely stomped on their heart and act like nothing happened.
• I feel like we skipped a scene.  Maybe we didn’t have time for it, but when we last left Barney and Ted, T-Dog has just witnessed Barney removing Roses from Robin’s bed.  There isn’t gonna be a, “WTF, dude?” moment?  Does Barney know that Ted knows?  I didn’t find this clear enough.
• I don’t believe that Robin being pregnant was not something that had planned from day one (my opinion, that’s all).  I don’t see her keeping this baby, by choice or otherwise.  This is a woman who I would expect to have ovaries of stone.  Sorry, ladies.  I cannot believe that Robin isn’t on anything less than two forms of birth control.  Even if Barney’s little Michael Phelps’s are swimming for the gold.  Because of them, actually.  Pill, condoms, IOU, whatever

Favorite Moments

• “Can we at least do it on the fake bed?”  I love how LAME is not lame; they are in love.  They still do it.  Constantly.  This is love people; you do it a lot.  A LOT.
• “Year-Round Haunted House.  Chimp sanctuary.  Sledgehammers”.  We have our writers who get the characters.  LOVE IT.  I love Marshall’s creative brain.  I can relate.
• “Then Robin chose Kevin over Barney,” Uh, you mean Robin f–ked Barney over hardcore, right?  Maybe in the future, this has been resolved (actually it has to have been, Robin is in Ted’s life, and thus, Barney’s as well).  But man I’m pissed at her.  At least she admitted she was screwed up.  Again, I don’t hate Robin.  I still care for her, and want her to be happy.  Another strong suit of a show like this.
• “I think I’m done with girls, not sure I like them anymore,” OH SWEET IRONY!
• “Being gay would kick ass!” Oh, NPH…
• Barney describing being in a gay relationship; is this how things are with Scooter, bud?  Cool!
• Swinging by the inner city and pick up some kids…bad timing writers….bad timing….
• A bro walking in on you banging a flight attendant…again, I know that the episode was going to come around to a different conclusion, but still, I’m really liking this idea! (Sorry, Jules, just kidding )
• “That’s the line.”  Yup.  Two bros, one chick.  Bad.  Two chicks, one bro.  GOOD.  Sorry, but it’s true.  Now build a bridge and get over it.  The End!
• Ghostbusters.  Ernie Hudson.  Who you gonna call?  If they had gotten Bill Murray, I would have fainted.
• Two Nanny’s, one for banging, one for child-care.  If only the Kennedy’s had taken this advice (I’m on FIRE tonight, right?).  So much logic in this show!  LOVE IT!
• Ladies, never let us name the baby.  We WILL name the kid “Conan the C–k-swinging Destroyer” if you don’t stop us.
• Pet-Cobra.  Lines like these are why I love this show so much.

Closing Thoughts

We gotta wait two weeks for the next episode.  Thank you, fake American Thanksviving!

I loved this episode.  That’s three in a row, right?  Either way, we’re back.  And no coincidence, it was written by B&T.

Billy Gardell once said, “You do not know fear until a woman looks you in the eye and says, “I’m PREGNANT…PREGnant…pregnant…(echo…echo)”.  And what better way to go on a two-week break than to leave us on a cliffhanger?  Who is the father?  Who knows?  I will say one thing; I do not hate Robin.  But I’m mad at her.  I do not criticize the writing here, I am criticizing the character.  This is one screwed up chick.  She is a wrecking ball and multiple dudes who don’t deserve it are going to get burned.  She is reckless (that’s right, I don’t care what Daddy issues she has, and although Daddy is the cause of this, she must own it as an adult.  You too, Barney).  Kevin is an innocent bystander who should have known better, but still.  Man.  Train wreck-a-coming.

We know Ted’s house is in Westchester (thank you, readers).  It’s very possible that LAME are moving to the burbs as well.  This show is certainly in Act Three.  Love it.  The show has made more than one reference to East Meadow (Three Days of Snow, Barney’s blog, ect.).  This is what life does.  It’s bittersweet.  But we gotta keep moving to the next chapter of the book of our lives.

I see now that Ted is not just telling the story of how he met their mother.  He’s telling the story of how he became their father.  As Lawrence Fishborne once said, “Any fool with a d–k can make a baby, but only a real man can be a father.”

And this is Ted’s story of how he became a real man.

After a rough patch in this season, I’m very happy to see the show back on track.

Welcome back, everyone.  I love these characters.  We all do.  We want them to succeed.  And yet they are human.  As all of us. And they will make mistakes.  And we will see that sometimes doing the right thing does not pay out in the end, as Barney found out the hardest way possible.

Let’s get to it!

What Was Good

• That consequences have actions…no actions have consequences…no wait..am I high?  How long have I been here?
• Loved the twist in the end of the “B” story.  Didn’t see it coming (that 2 hours was actually 2 minutes).  The video montage had me on the ground, I was laughing so hard.
• Framing the show around the ticking clocks worked beautifully.  Finally, the show is rocking the emotions the way it should.  Someone is about to get hurt here.
• Groova-pa-looza: Maybe this is personal, but one of the reasons I love this show so much is that it syncs up with my life.  I went to college (Go QUAKERS, we are NOT PENN STATE!) right when Ted, Marshall and Lily did, and every time they reference the 90′s, I get warm and nostalgic.
• Welcome back, “eat a sandwich”!  This has been one of the best writing gags regarding the unreliable narrator of Future Ted, man I love it so.
• Kevin and Nora just HAPPENED to walk into the booze cruise at the same time.  What are THEY hiding?
• The “Unreliable Narrator” is one of the best devices the writers have to use that is given to them due to the nature of the storytelling (Ted telling his children how he knocked up, I mean met their mother).  We got another dividend tonight; the band’s lead singer. Good stuff.
• As a bearded man, I can attest, it’s true…
• Seriously how do they keep casting hippy hipster douches so well (nacho guy with Lily)?
• Marshall’s freak outs, Ted and Marshall keep finding the nacho line, loved all of it.  The last hurrah of boy-immature bonding before the baby comes.  I know how this feels.
• Barney’s turn around at the booze cruise about how this might be the story of how they got back together gave me chills.  Barney is still on his journey of emotional recovery and personal growth, and tonight was a big step, even if it had its basis in a huge selfish mistake.  He’s truly sorry for what he has done, and only wants to do the right thing.
• The episode did a wonderful job of showing the inner conflict between two good people who did a bad thing.  I have and will continue to call them reckless for this, but I have empathy for them.  I still care about them and love them even more.  Good writing, well acted, well done.
• Barney’s memory montage of Robin as Nora’s father unwittingly described finally sold it for me that Robin and Barney really have something.  It is a shame that two innocent (so far) individuals (Nora and Kevin) are going to get hurt in this (can’t help it) but this sequence, along with music accompanying it, really brought it home.

What Was Bad

• I did not believe for one blessed second that Kevin would look past Robin saying, “I did a bad thing…” the dude is smart and educated, and a friggin’ head shrink!  NOPE.  I don’t care about your past? No no no.
• Sandy Rivers does not have a job in the world of reality.  Gloria Allred would have shown up and sued his ass into oblivion.  Not buying this for one blessed second.  Or is he based upon David Letterman before the truth came out?  Let’s face it, men in power often are P-hounds.  But I’d think a guy in Sandy’s position would have way more game, and I don’t find his lame come-on to the hot blonde (sorry baby) believable at all, unreliable narrator notwithstanding.
• Poor Nora.  To heck with those of you who don’t like her (sorry), she’s a lovely woman, and she didn’t deserve this.  She got burned.  Badly.  And Barney, buddy, you worked your ass off to get Nora, not once, but twice. Was that all a lie?  Are you a fucking sociopath, bro?  You sat in a diner booth all night for her.  You came clean about your past for her.  You moved mountains, and yet Robin is the one?  Dude, get your shit together.  I don’t know, maybe that’s the whole point.  And yet I’m proud of you (see below)

Favorite Moments

• “Of course, it didn’t…” This is Barney’s evil side fighting a losing battle with his good side.
• You’re asking me to lie?  That’s..fine…
• I’m sure that’s what Gilligan said…
• Even the tickets smell like cloves and mediocrity.  Thank You, Ted.  Hippy bands from the 90′s do indeed suck.
• Gender diversity awareness paloooza…SCREW YOU 90′S POLITICAL CORRECTNESS!  Indeed, I went to a Lilith Fair in the 90′s (don’t ask, well, go ahead and ask me on my show), and indeed, there were some real bitches there.  I have stories.
• Lily has no idea I’m high…you’re HIGH?  These guys really get the high-guy-screw ups down pat.
• “Magnanimously, Sandy Rivers” – Love ya, unreliable narrator Ted
• At least Sandy Rivers uses safe sex.  He’s not a COMPLETE douche.
• I love Nachos, man!
• Shoulda done it on the boat.  Yup. No time like the present, people.
• It’s a sign, bro.  Love the double meanings
• I think the worst part is over…oh Barney…
• Barney alone in the second…chills.
• 12 seconds, and you’re in the wrong booth.

Closing Thoughts

Again, Robin and Barney are reckless people.  They are both finally off the boat but not off the hook.  I love them dearly as characters but MAN.  For the love of God, people, don’t hang out with your ex’s and if you do, NO DRAMA.  Otherwise, don’t get into relationships with other people unless said-drama is over and done with.  To do otherwise is, again, reckless, as well as selfish.

But then again…

We haven’t seen Barney get this rocked since he found his father.  The dude got slammed, and hard.  He finally did the right thing.  He screwed up and for the first time, he took responsibility for his actions and did the right thing.  But as it turns out, life does not give you a pass for pass sins.  No good deed goes un-punished.  He did Nora a huge favor, cowboyed the f–k up and came clean at the worst possible moment.  And what does he have to show for it?

In my humble opinion, most likely, personal growth.  Barney has to learn that he is human and fallible.  He has learned that Nora was a lovely lady but mostly existed as such only in his head.  Things aren’t going to work out for him, or us, always.  Sometimes we just have to get burned by the fire in order to form a protective scar.  Sucks, but such is life.  The last moments of tonight’s episode knocked me off my ass.  Loved it.  I only wish they had a way to make the “A” story involve the other three characters completely, but that being said, I loved the final moment with Ted witnessing Barney removing the rose petals and blowing out the candles.

That’s two in a row, and we can only hope this streak continues.

Indeed, this is Ted’s story.  He is why we signed up for this, 6 years ago, he is who we want to see cross the finish line with the love of his life.  May we continue to see more of it.